


Got It Bad

by savorvrymoment



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Intersex Loki (Marvel), Loki and Thor Are Not Related, M/M, Meet-Cute, Other, Transphobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-10
Updated: 2019-02-10
Packaged: 2019-10-25 12:06:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17724872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/savorvrymoment/pseuds/savorvrymoment
Summary: Thor’s father always told him you don’t date coworkers.  Or rather, ‘you don’t shit where you eat’, but…  Sound advice.  And Thor is fairly certain no one here in the office knows that he’s gay.  He’d like to keep it that way, and gossip spreads in the building like wildfire.  He knows he has rights and protections, but he also knows the realities of the world.





	Got It Bad

**Author's Note:**

> Detailed notes at the ending. Comments and kudos are much loved!

The company hires him and assigns him to Thor’s consulting team in October, just before Halloween. 

The man’s not from around there, his accent is clue enough of that.  Obviously European, though Thor’s not really good with that sort of thing.  The secretary Jane says it’s a Norwegian accent, so he takes her at her word.

The man’s a hard worker, intelligent and shrewd, one of those types that could sell religion to the Pope.  Quite literally.  Within two weeks, he manages to sell flood insurance to a client in a drought area and motorcycle insurance to a client without a motorcycle.  And as his GM, Thor really should discipline him for selling unneeded policies to their clients.

Except Thor can hardly blame the man at this point.  If a client ends up buying boat insurance for a boat he doesn’t have yet, then who the hell is Thor to judge?

Though by the middle of November, corporate is breathing down Thor’s neck about the whole thing.  He schedules a meeting with the man on a Wednesday afternoon, all too aware that they haven’t really spoken apart from polite _hello_ ’s, _good morning_ ’s, and _good night_ ’s. 

The man’s self-motivated.  He shows up on time, sits his ass down in his cubicle and works like expected, doesn’t wander around the office and make a nuisance of himself.  Thor hasn’t _needed_ to speak to him—until now. 

And he’s acutely reminded of why he’s been avoiding this when the man walks into his office.  He looks as good as he always does, black slacks hugging his slim frame and his button-down rolled up at the forearms.  His deep black hair is slicked back from his face, ringlets falling around his shoulders.  He’s bought one of those fancy lanyards for himself, little shiny silver and black beads around his neck, his nametag hanging at his chest.  _Loki Laufeyson._

He’s so obviously gay that it’s painful.  Thor doesn’t think he’s ever been this physically attracted to someone in his life, and to know that his advances wouldn’t be unwanted based solely on sexuality?  It makes everything that much worse.  Thor wants nothing more than to write his personal cell number on something and give it to Loki.  Just say, _Here, if you’re interested_.  Except that would be so very, _incredibly_ inappropriate.  Not only are they coworkers, but Thor is his boss.  His superior.  There is a power imbalance here.  Thor simply _can’t_ …

Plus, Thor’s father always told him you don’t date coworkers.  Or rather, ‘you don’t shit where you eat’, but…  Sound advice.  And Thor is fairly certain no one here in the office knows that he’s gay.  He’d like to keep it that way, and gossip spreads in the building like wildfire.  He knows he has rights and protections, but he also knows the realities of the world.

So he swallows down everything he feels and everything he wants, and gestures to the chair across from his desk.  “Loki, have a seat, please.”

“Oh, no.  I’m in trouble,” Loki says as he sits.  However, his tone of voice is anything but concerned, and his green eyes are sparkling with amusement.

“Not precisely.  I just have some questions,” Thor says.  He pulls out printouts of the three sales in question and lays them in front of Loki.  Loki pulls them closer to him, _mmm_ ’ing to himself as he looks them over.  Thor continues, “You do know it is against company policy to manipulate customers into sales, yes?”

“Pardon?” Loki says, one shaped eyebrow raising.  “Are you implying that I’ve…?”

He trails off, and so Thor has to pick up where he left off.  “That you’ve talked these clients into plans they didn’t need—yes, that’s what I’m getting at.”

“I resent that notion, sir,” Loki says, though he doesn’t actually look upset.  Still looks amused over the whole thing.  “I’m only doing my job.”

“Indeed,” Thor says.  “Perhaps too well.”

“So that’s why you’ve called me in here?” Loki asks, smiling.  “I’m too good at my job?”

Thor sighs, shaking his head.  He finally relents, “I’m getting heat from my higher-ups over this.  Lets just try to keep things clean, alright?”

Loki’s smile falls at that, and he nods once.  “Alright.  Understood.”

And Thor doesn’t know what it was—the mention of higher management in general, or the mention that Thor was getting grief as well—but Thor’s glad that this seems to be the end of it.  Loki stacks the printouts together neatly and pushes them back across the desk.  “Thank you,” Thor says, collecting them up.

“Of course,” Loki says with a nod.  Then, “Was there anything else?  Or may I get back to work?”

Straightforward, professional, not about to waste anyone’s time.  Thor thinks he might be in love.  “No, that was all,” Thor says.  Then, with a wave of the papers, “Just no more of this.”

“No more,” Loki promises as he stands.  “I prefer not to give anyone reason for complaint.”

“Well, your sale numbers are great.  Your clients are happy.  You’re doing amazing so far.  Keep it up,” Thor tells him, truthful. 

The smile Thor gets over the compliment is really way too much, all teeth and shining eyes.  “Thank you,” Loki says.  Then, lingering at the door to Thor’s office, “Perhaps this is an inappropriate request…”

Thor’s heart beats a staccato in his chest, sure the man is going to ask for his number or for a date.  But it turns out Thor is just projecting.

“I know I’ve barely been here a month,” Loki continues.  “But my mother is coming in next week for Thanksgiving.  I was hoping I could take a couple of days to spend with her.”

And Thor should really tell him to shove it.  He is their newest hire.  Time off is based on seniority.  Except Thanksgiving week is always slow, and there haven’t been a lot of PTO requests. 

On top of that, Thor can objectively recognize that he has sunk himself.  What had started as physical attraction has turned into a massive crush in the past five minutes.  Thor can’t remember the last time he’s felt this way.  Perhaps high school?  Maybe college…

“How much time did you need?” he asks, pulling up Loki’s schedule on his computer.

“Just that Wednesday and Friday, you know.  The day before, the day after,” Loki says.  “If that’s doable.”

“That’s all?” Thor asks, frowning.

Loki lifts his brows.  “Why?  Are you offering more?”

“Well, I mean, none of it will be paid, you don’t have the PTO accrued yet,” Thor points out.  “But…”

“Then maybe the Tuesday, too?” Loki hedges, throwing him a crooked grin.

“Hell, just take the week,” Thor says, already entering it into Loki’s schedule.  Loki barks a laugh.

“I—Thanks.  Thank you,” Loki says.  “I don’t get to see my ma very often, so I really appreciate it.”

He’s giving Thor that bright smile again, too many teeth, his eyes sparkling.  Thor wants to melt.  “It’s not a problem,” he says.

Loki’s still smiling when he lets himself out of Thor’s office and walks back to his cubicle.

~*~

It happens the week of Thanksgiving, while Loki is out of the office.

It’s one of those rambling rumors, a _someone who knew someone said that someone said…_   Thor’s in the breakroom eating a roast beef sandwich for lunch and trying to read a trash murder mystery.  He’s half-listening to the gossip, not really paying attention.  The consulting company is huge, and sometimes Thor doesn’t even know the coworkers that get thrown under the bus in these stories.

Except this time, he hears the name ‘Loki’, and his head snaps up from the book, eyes scanning the room to find the source.  There are three people at a table a ways away speaking in theatrically hushed voices, obviously not actually caring who hears.  Thor doesn’t really know them; they aren’t his consultants, aren’t part of his team or his responsibility.  Though he has an odd feeling they’re about to hear from him in a few moments.

Thor looks back down to his book, though he doesn’t read.  He pretends to not pay attention to the group, while he listens intently…

“Yeah, that’s what he said.  Definitely a woman.”

“I can see it.  He’s real effeminate.”

“I guess it’s ‘she’, huh?”

They laugh quietly, cackles and giggles, and Thor reflects on the state of humanity.  He considers moving further north, somewhere more liberal, more progressive.  But then he likes the heat of the South, likes that it rarely snows, likes to take the boat out on the lake, to hike and swim and fish…

Maybe California is calling his name.

“Yeah, I guess there are pictures online.”

“Like…?”

“Yeah.”

“Like porn?”

“Well—Mike said they were nudes.”

And Thor’s really had enough at this point.  He clears his throat.  Loudly.  The gossipers swing their heads around, eyes widening when they spot Thor.  “That’s enough,” Thor says, stern.

The three coworkers are young, probably just out of college.  This is probably born of ignorance and juvenile excitement in an otherwise boring office job, not any real hate for those who are different.  That doesn’t make Thor feel merciful. 

“Loki is one of my consultants,” he says, thinking his point is made clear.

But instead of going quiet, one of them pipes up, “Then you already know?”

Thor’s face goes hard, and he refrains from flinging both his book and his sandwich across the breakroom.  The other two coworkers seem to realize this was an inappropriate response—one looks down to the table, blushing, while the other begins to make quiet shushing noises. 

“I don’t particularly care,” Thor says.  “Loki is professional, he works hard.  His sale numbers are already some of the best in the building…”

“I only…” the employee tries to interrupt, but Thor soldiers on.

“So come back and find me when you have something substantial to contribute.”

Thor gets up without another word, then tosses his half-eaten sandwich in the trash, suddenly not hungry anymore.  The three coworkers say nothing more to him as he takes his book and leaves.

~*~

Loki is at work the next Monday, and Thor sees him in passing.  Another polite _good morning_ to start the day and a _good night_ to end the day, but nothing more.  Thor is occupied with other business, and Loki seems to be trying to make up for lost time, getting those sales in and being the model employee.

Thor really hopes he’s not selling ice to Antarctica anymore.  There hasn’t been anything flagged from the corporate office, so Thor figures they’re good.

Tuesday finds Loki sitting in the breakroom when Thor goes down for lunch.  The man looks up from his phone to give him a tight smile, not at all the wide and dazzling thing Thor is used to getting.  Then he looks back down at his phone before Thor gets a chance to say anything, and so Thor leaves the man be, just gets his lunch from the fridge and sits down to eat.

Thor has a good idea what this sudden change in demeanor is about.  Gossip spreads fast, and some people have no tact. 

Thor’s heart breaks—everyone should have the right to feel comfortable at their workplace.  Showing up at the office isn’t a choice.  It’s done to pay the bills so you can afford to go on living.  And God, Thor hopes this doesn’t somehow become an issue with HR, doesn’t end up costing Loki his job…

He knows Loki has rights and protections, but he also knows the realities of the world.

Thor clears his throat as he unwraps his sandwich, leftover turkey today, and smiles encouragingly when Loki meets his eye.  “Did you enjoy your holiday?” he asks.  “Sorry I didn’t get to ask yesterday.  I was kind of swamped.”

The tightness to Loki’s expression softens with that, and his smile comes truer.  “I think everyone was quite busy yesterday,” Loki says.  Then, “I had a wonderful holiday.  I’m afraid I ate too much, though.”

“Doesn’t everyone?” Thor counters, and Loki laughs.

“Very true,” he answers.  Then, “Thank you again for the time off.  It was really great getting to spend the time with my ma.”

“It’s not a problem,” Thor says, because it really wasn’t.

Loki gifts him with another smile, smaller but no less real.  Thor is left looking as Loki goes back to his phone.  He takes in his soft features and petite frame, all androgynous.  Perhaps he is transsexual, Thor muses, then scolds himself. 

It’s none of Thor’s business.  As far as their work relationship goes, it doesn’t matter. 

And it doesn’t seem to matter to Thor’s unrelenting crush, either.  Loki’s still as gorgeous as ever, looking all soft and sweet as he scrolls through his phone and munches on a chocolate chip cookie.  Thor realizes he’s staring and looks away, but he still finds himself peeking out of the corner of his eye.

He’s peeking when Loki takes a long drink of his diet soda, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows.  It take Thor a moment to connect the dots, but then he almost wants to laugh.  All of this hurtful gossip, all a lie.  Probably some case of mistaken identity, or maybe some made-up story from a scorned lover.

Loki’s biologically male.  And life is ridiculous.

It doesn’t occur to Thor until later in his office that there is probably a procedure to augment the Adam’s apple.  Something trans men might get done if they were interested in surgical options.  Which means Loki’s Adam’s apple means absolutely nothing.

Then he scolds himself for the tenth time since all this started.  It’s none of his business what’s between Loki’s legs.

Except his crush is only getting worse, and well, Thor really wants to be the ‘what’ between Loki’s legs…

~*~

It happens the first week of December.

Thor is in the men’s room washing his hands, when one of the stalls opens behind him.  Loki steps out and up to the sinks, double-checking his flies.  And Thor is screwed, because he’s so lovesick that even the man _adjusting his pants_ is endearing. 

They share silent smiles through the mirror, before Thor moves off to dry his hands. 

The other employee comes in while Loki is primping himself in front of the mirror.  Thor is making to leave, and he steps aside to let the man through, giving him a polite nod.  He thinks the man’s name is Mark, or maybe Matt?  He’s seen him a few times in meetings, but he can’t say he knows him. 

Thor takes hold of the door handle, pulls it open, and then Mark—or Matt?—says, “You’re in the wrong bathroom, lady.”

Thor very carefully takes a step back and quietly shuts the bathroom door, looking behind himself.  Mark-Matt is unzipping at one of the urinals, apparently unconcerned about the situation, while Loki is still in front of the mirror, his thin lips set in a firm line, shoulders tense. 

“Hey,” Thor says, a one word warning, trying to preempt any sort of altercation.  He gets both sets of eyes on him.  Loki looks crazed, hysterical, while the other man doesn’t seem bothered in the least.

And it’s like watching a car crash about to happen.  Loki takes a deep breath, schooling his expression into one of calm collection, lifting his chin and throwing his shoulders back.  Then, he slinks confidently across the bathroom, stopping at the urinal next to the other employee.

“Loki,” Thor says, though Loki ignores him.

“Tell me, Mike,” Loki says, and Mark-Matt-apparently Mike glances over at him.  “Tell me, do you have a fetish?  Because how else would you have found those pictures unless you were _looking_.”

“Loki, stop,” Thor says again, watching as Mike’s face goes bright red.  Loki continues.

“Tell me, did you enjoy looking at me?  Did you touch yourself?  Did you come?”

“Loki!” Thor yells, face burning.  And he knows deep down he has to send them both to HR now, regardless of who started it.  It’s gotten out of control.

“You little freak!” Mike snarls, though he seems to be having a hard time getting it together enough to leave the urinal.  Loki’s eyes flicker down, and he smirks as he watches Mike try to stuff himself back into his slacks.

“Mmm, I see,” Loki says, stepping away and toward the bathroom door, toward Thor.  “You shouldn’t throw stones in glass houses, my friend.”

Thor meets Loki’s eyes as the man approaches.  They’re bright and expressive as always, though not with their usual emotion.  He’s _infuriated_.  Thor swallows, and tells him, “You have to go to HR, Loki.”

“Yeah, I know,” Loki says, eyes still alight but tone resigned.  Then, as he reaches past Thor to let himself out of the restroom, “Consider this my two-weeks’ notice.”

“Wait.  What?” Thor says, turning back as Loki leaves.  But Loki doesn’t reply.  He’s already around the corner and out of sight.  So Thor turns back to Mike, who’s managed to get himself together enough for propriety’s sake and is heading for the sinks.  Thor barks, “You, too.  HR.  Now.”

“What?” Mike asks, looking stunned, and God, Thor’s pissed.  He works with _children_.

“Go down to HR once you’re finished,” he says.  “Or do I need to escort you?”

“No.  I’m going,” Mike says with a sigh.

Thor doesn’t really trust him, though.  He lingers outside the restroom by the water fountains, just to be sure the man actually does head downstairs toward HR.  He gets a scowl as Mike passes by, but the man does leave in the right direction.

Thor sighs as he walks back to his desk, fervently wishing the last five minutes hadn’t happened.

~*~

Thor stays in the office late that night, finding himself busy with things that technically could wait until the morning.  He doesn’t feel like going home, though.  Home feels too quiet, too lonely.  There’s too much time there to think about people’s cruelty.  About misunderstandings, harsh words and repercussions. 

The office is mostly empty when Thor decides to leave, and he gathers his things and goes to turns the lights off on his side.  Luckily, he sees Loki exiting his cubicle, messenger bag slung over his shoulder, just before he hits the lights and plunges them both into darkness.  He’s sure the sudden darkness would have frightened Loki, especially since the man jumps at just seeing Thor standing outside his office. 

Loki huffs, shaking his head.  “Thought I was here alone,” he says, before he adjusts his bag more securely and continuing toward the exit.

 _You shouldn’t be here alone, it’s not safe, especially not for you_ , Thor wants to say.  _I’m so sorry about all of this,_ Thor wants to say.  Instead, he says, “You shouldn’t be working unapproved overtime.”

Loki barks a laugh, pausing to look back over his shoulder at Thor.  “What’re you going to do, fire me?” he asks.  “Please do, then I’ll be able to collect unemployment.”

Thor swallows back his response to that, and says instead, “I got to turn off the lights.  You okay to make it to the stairs?”

Loki’s silent for a moment, just looking at him, before he answers, “Yeah, I’ll be fine.  Don’t worry.”

So Thor turns off the lights, and they make their way along the edge of the cubicles through the dark.  It’s silent save for the rustling of their clothing and the _pat pat_ of their shoes on the cheap office carpeting.  When they arrive at the stairwell, Loki pushes open the door and holds it for Thor. 

Light pours out onto Loki’s face as he steps inside, and Thor thinks he looks tired, melancholy.  Thor’s heart hurts for him.  “I’m sorry,” Thor finds himself saying.

Loki laughs as he starts down the stairs, though it’s a noise without humor.  “Whatever for?” he asks.

Thor frowns.  “You know what for,” he says.

Loki doesn’t reply until they reach the bottom of the stairs.  He turns then to meet Thor’s gaze.  He still seems exhausted, but his expression is softer, gentler.  “You needn’t apologize,” he says.  “You’ve been nothing but kind to me.”

“I’m still sorry,” Thor tells him.

Loki shakes his head again.  He turns to let them out of the stairwell and into the lobby.  “I don’t need your pity,” he says over his shoulder.

Thor wants to argue, or rather clarify.  It’s not pity, it’s empathy.  But Loki is walking away from him across the lobby, through the doors and out onto the sidewalk.  Thor follows, but Loki heads one way down the sidewalk; Thor is parked in a garage in the other direction. 

“I wish you would reconsider,” he says to Loki’s retreating back.  “You’re my best consultant.”

Loki doesn’t reply, nor does he give any indication that he even heard him.

~*~

It’s bad.  It’s wrong.  It’s horrible and sick and perverse.

Thor tells himself it doesn’t matter, because in two weeks’ time he will no longer be Loki’s coworker.  He will no longer be Loki’s boss.  He will likely never even see Loki again.

Thor starts by googling him, for lack of anywhere else to start.  Loki Laufeyson.  He gets a Facebook page that he glances at for a few minutes.  There are a few recent pictures that have to be from Thanksgiving—Loki in the kitchen with an older woman that can only be his mother, the resemblance is uncannily strong.  Loki is smiling wide, dressed in a plain t-shirt and women’s leggings, his hair a mess of unkempt curls. 

It’s a far cry from the meticulously styled and put-together businessman Thor is used to seeing.  But Thor thinks he’s almost more beautiful like this, natural and carefree. 

He backs out of Facebook fairly quickly, though.  This isn’t what he’s looking for.

He finds an unused Twitter and Instagram account as he scrolls through, but nothing untoward.  He’s thinking of giving up his search—the pictures in question are probably under a fake name—but in a last ditch attempt, he tries searching _Loki Laufeyson Nudes_.

He gets a message board post.  _Does anyone know who this kid is?_   That almost stops Thor in his tracks.  Kid?  Fuck, how old was Loki when these were taken?  He checks the date on the message board post; seven years ago.  Shit, Thor thinks—how old is Loki _now_?  He’s seen his employee record obviously, but he can’t actually remember looking closely at his age.

Loki is maybe thirty, judging by his appearance.  At least Thor thinks.

He clicks on the message board link, ready to close the browser window immediately should he get an eyeful of a sixteen-year-old’s naked body, but there are no pictures on the message board.  There’s just a link to a gallery of nudes with the question repeated underneath; _does anyone know who this kid is?_ Also, _anymore pics? vids?_

The next few replies are all along the lines of _no, but wow_ ; and _fuck yeah_ ; and _want more pics!_   But then there’s a longer reply that holds Thor’s attention:

_His name’s Loki Laufeyson.  Here are the 3 galleries I have, all my own work.  You’re welcome!_ _😉  He did quite a few shoots with our studio, so there might be more on the main site from other photographers.  I think he was trying to make extra money for school.  Real sweet kid—super sexy, natural in front of the camera.  Masculine case of PPH, didn’t have to pump him or anything.  Made my job easy._

There are three links below all of that, and Thor hesitates.  He has no idea what PPH is, or what pumping has to do with any of it.  But fuck, he’s come this far, might as well sink himself down in his own grave.

He clinks on the first link.

Thor swallows, enlarges the first photo, and stares.

It’s of Loki sitting up in a bed, back resting against the headboard, his legs spread and eyes on the camera.  He’s young, nineteen or twenty, Thor guesses.  The lines Thor is used to seeing around his eyes and mouth are absent, his skin all baby smooth.  His dark hair is shorter, coming just down to his jawline and artfully mussed up, made to look like sex-hair. 

And the expression on Loki’s face, the slight smirk, the devilish glint in his eyes… 

But what shocks Thor into a complete stupor is the fact that Loki is not female.  _Not female._   All of this bullshit at work, and the man isn’t even transsexual.

However, he’s not really male, either.  There’s a word for this, Thor knows.  Not hermaphrodite, that’s not the word used anymore. 

_Damnit, Thor, you’re part of the LGBTQ community.  You know this…_

Intersex, he realizes.  Loki is intersex.  His penis is tiny, even erect as it is in the picture.  The small, blunt head peaks out from between his index and middle fingers where he is holding himself, his hand cupping his sac.  His testicles are just as small, his scrotum seemingly split down the middle and making an odd parody of a woman’s labia.  And below that, spread slightly with his fingers—vaginal lips.

It’s strange, yes; but at the same time, Thor thinks it’s beautiful.  But no, it’s more than that.

 _Loki_ is beautiful.  From head to toe, he is wonderfully made.  Thor was attracted to him when he thought he was a cis.  Thor was attracted to him with he thought he was trans.  And now?  Thor wants to suck Loki’s tiny little cock until he is quivering with pleasure. 

Thor closes the browser window and then stares up at the ceiling.  He ignores his half-mast erection. 

Then, because Thor has one of those feelings, he googles _PPH Intersex_. 

Pseudovaginal perineoscrotal hypospadias, a genetic disorder of sex development.  Presents as a phallus halfway in size between a penis and a clitoris, a bifid scrotum, a urethral opening on the perineum, and a shallow vagina.  Is associated with a higher risk of testicular cancer.  Is associated with endocrine disorders.

Thor reads the entire medical overview of the condition.  Some of it goes over his head—Thor has his MBA, not his MD.  However, he understands the gist of it.  Loki was born this way.  And it’s more than just the way his body is made.  It affects his health as well.

Thor suddenly finds himself laughing, once again staring up at his living room’s off-white ceiling.  It’s just so damn funny.  Because apparently whoever started the rumor (Mike?) doesn’t know what a pussy looks like.  He really thought Loki was female.  That _was_ the rumor: Loki’s a woman, there are pictures. 

If there’s been any other gossip on the subject, Thor’s been blissfully ignorant.

But then his laughter dies in his throat, because life is ridiculous.  And harsh.  And never ever fair. 

~*~

Thor leaves Loki be the next week.

There are things that he wants to say.  He wants to speak to the man again about his job, try one last time to convince Loki to stay.  Because Loki is definitely quitting—his resignation notice has been scanned into his file by HR, and his last day marked on his schedule. 

Thor also wants to tell Loki how attractive he is.  Thor wants to tell him how he feels.  That he wants to take him out somewhere, lunch or dinner, or even just coffee if Loki would prefer that.  He wants to talk to Loki, get to know him.  Ask about his family, his ma, find out about his pa, find out if he has any brothers or sisters.  Ask about his health, because now that Thor knows what was in that medical overview, he can’t help but worry…

Has Loki had cancer?  Has he gone through surgery and chemo and radiation?  Has he felt that sickness, that fear?

Does he have the hormone problems that were mentioned?  Does he have to use testosterone gel or injections?  Is he on adrenal therapy?  Does he have issues with fatigue, with his mood, with his libido? 

Thor is objectively aware that he hardly knows this man.  He also does not believe in love at first sight.  He believes that love is born of a mutual respect and deep affection, neither of which are possible without knowing a person’s true character.

However, he feels something for Loki he hasn’t ever felt before.  Maybe not love, but something real all the same.  Something born of empathy and understanding, along with his persistent physical attraction.  Something that is only stronger now that his knows what the man looks like underneath his clothes.

And in just a handful of days, Loki will be gone.  Unless Thor says something.  Which he wants to so very, very badly.

But more than that, he just wants Loki to be happy.  The man isn’t, of course.  There are no smiles to be found on his face anymore, and the sparkle in his eyes is gone.  But the last thing Thor wants to do is make things worse.  Possibly make Loki uncomfortable, or nervous, or angry.

So he keeps his mouth firmly shut, and leaves Loki be.

~*~

The company Christmas party comes three days before Loki’s last day.

It’s something Thor usually enjoys, not necessarily because he likes socializing with all of his coworkers—but the company provides free alcohol and food.  And it’s good alcohol, good food.  An open bar, and catering from a local deli. 

However, Thor finds this year he doesn’t really want to attend.  It feels more like a mandatory function than a chance to get fat and drunk on company dime. 

But it _is_ a mandatory function for him.  He’s a general manager.  If he doesn’t show his face, it’ll be considered improper.  People will talk.  HR will probably talk to _him_ about it, about how he needs to show leadership and be an example of engagement…

All of that corporate bullshit.

So he pulls on a pair of black jeans, a v-neck, and his leather jacket, and then heads out.  He strolls into the hotel’s reception hall with his head held high and a fake smile plastered on his face, and promises himself he’ll only stay for a couple of hours.  Then he’ll hit up Grindr, treat himself to a night with a stranger, and try to forget.

He’s gotten a beer from the bar and is halfway around the room, making the requisite appearances and small talk, when he spots him.  Loki—sitting alone in one of those metal-framed conference chairs, tucked into a corner against the wall.  He’s dressed in black slacks and a green sweater, his dark curls pulled back into a low ponytail, meticulous and neat as always.  He’s balancing a plate of food on his thigh and holding a drink in his right hand, idly swirling the liquid around in the cup.

His eyes are on Thor, though when Thor notices him, he looks away.

Thor figures to hell with it.  He abandons his mingling and makes his way over.

“I didn’t expect to see you here,” Thor says, stopping in front of him.

Loki looks up with a smirk.  “I’m sorry,” he answers.  “But they’re not going to scare me away from an open bar.”

“I didn’t mean to say you were scared.  I just assumed…” Thor begins.

But Loki interrupts with a roll of his eyes, “It was a joke.”  Then, after a pause, “Well, not about the open bar.  And free food.  That’s why I’m here.”

Thor laughs at that.  “Me, too,” he admits.  “I _really_ wasn’t feeling sociable, but I figured if I got drunk, I could at least fake it.”

“Likewise,” Loki says.  He holds up his almost-empty drink, and adds, ”It’s not working.  At least not for me.”

Thor nods, and then notices the stack of chairs nearby.  Where Loki had most likely gotten his own.  Thor gestures, and asks, “Well, may I join you then?” 

Loki looks unsure, so Thor adds,

“We can sit and be unsociable together.”

Loki smirks at that, a little of the light shining back in his eyes.  It’s nice to see again, Thor thinks.  “You may join me, if you get me another,” Loki allows, shaking his drink at Thor.  “White wine.  Please.”

“Of course,” Thor says, finding a huge smile splitting his face.  He sets his own drink on the floor by Loki’s feet, before dragging a chair off the stack and setting it down next to the other man.  Before he leaves for the bar, he asks, “Do you want anything more to eat?  I’m going to get some dinner for myself.”

“Mmm, I shouldn’t…  But perhaps something sweet?  Chocolate?” Loki asks.

And Thor wants to say; _You shouldn’t?  Sweetheart, you are **tiny**.  It’ll do you good to have some chocolate.  _But instead, he smiles and says, “White wine and chocolate, coming right up!”

He hears Loki chuckling as he walks away.

Thor gets himself another beer and Loki his wine, then fills himself a plate with a couple of the party sandwiches, some cheeses and vegetable slices.  He grabs Loki a piece of chocolate cake last and then makes his way back across the room, balancing everything precariously. 

Loki stands up as Thor approaches, taking the drinks and helping Thor arrange everything.  It’s strangely easy settling in beside Loki, to start eating and continue drinking, the silence between them calm.  He people-watches, keeping an eye on his coworkers as everyone mingles, but he mostly sinks into the mood around him.  Around _them_ —he and Loki; quiet, still, a little low…

Thor’s so deep in thought that he almost misses it when Loki speaks up.  “It’s not true, you know.”

“Huh?” Thor says, turning to Loki.  Loki’s not looking at him, though.  He’s staring out at the rest of the party.

“It’s not true, what he said in the bathroom that day.  That man…  I know you heard him.  You turned around as soon as he said it,” Loki says.  He shakes his head then, and takes a long drink of his wine.

Loki doesn’t expound on the subject, his eyes still averted, and so Thor tells him, “It’s none of my business, Loki.  I wasn’t judging what he said, I was just worried…”

Loki huffs a laugh, then says, “I don’t know why I’m even talking to you about this.  I never do.  Talk about it, that is.  Only with my ma…”

Loki covertly looks around them, but they are completely alone, the other coworkers all otherwise occupied.

“But I’m a man.  Male.  X and Y.  Just because…”  Loki trails off, then shakes his head again.  He adds, “I’m a man, so I use the men’s room.”

“I know,” Thor says, quiet.

A long sigh, and then Loki says, “This isn’t the first time this has happened, the first office this has happened at.  And I know it’s my own fault, but…  I’m just so _tired_.”

“It’s not your fault,” Thor tells him.  “People are just ignorant.  And cruel.”

“No.  It is,” Loki says, and finally meets Thor’s gaze.  “What _he_ said wasn’t true—but the rest of it, what I said…  There are pictures online.  Inappropriate pictures.  Of me.”

Thor nods and comes dangerously close to saying ‘I know’.  He catches himself, though.  It also occurs to him that Loki just admitted to someone seeing him nude and mistaking him for a woman.  He doesn’t point this out. 

“It was just so easy in college.  They paid me good money for just an afternoon of my time.  I was young, stupid, never though about after,” Loki continues.  “Or I guess I did.  I just thought your average businessman didn’t look at shit like that…”

Thor can’t help but laugh.  “Yeah.  Your average businessman is probably the most fucked-up of all.”

“I’ve since figured that out,” Loki says, flashing him a sideways grin.  “Like I said, I was young and stupid.”

And Loki looks so soft and heartrending in that moment, Thor’s chest aches.  Thor watches him finish the last bites of his cake, and he thinks about telling him.  Really thinks about it.  Thinks about telling Loki how attracted he is to him and how badly he wants him.  But more than that, he thinks about telling Loki that he wants know him, wants to understand him, wants to let these burgeoning feelings turn into something stronger…

“I’m sorry,” Loki speaks up, looking down into his empty cup.  “I get chatty and maudlin when I drink.  I should really know better by now.”

And it’s the look in Loki’s eye, the tired surrender there, and the way one ringlet has escaped from his ponytail and is framing his jawline.  Thor’s heart thuds in his chest, and he blurts, “Can I take you somewhere quieter?  More private?”

Loki cocks his head and raises an eyebrow.  “Are you propositioning me, sir?” he asks, his tone playful.

“Depends on your answer,” Thor says.

The good-humored smile on Loki’s face falls with that, and he looks away once again.  Thor’s heart falls to his feet.  But then Loki says, “While I could really use the stress relief—especially with someone as considerate as you seem to be—I’m afraid I’ll only be a disappointment.”

“Loki, you could never be a disappointment…”  The words are out of Thor mouth before he thinks about them.  They’re far too sentimental for their situation. 

However, Loki only gives him a sad smile, and says, “Thor, you don’t understand.  Leave it.”

Except suddenly, Thor realizes that he _does_ understand.  Loki is afraid of Thor’s rejection should Thor take him to bed; afraid of Thor’s disgust once they undress and embrace and touch each other.  And the thought that Loki has this fear, that someone else has most likely rejected him and been disgusted by his body in order to fuel such a fear…  God, it angers Thor to his very core.

It angers him to the point that he almost just blurts out that he knows, he’s seen Loki’s body.  That it is a beautiful body, and anyone who says otherwise must be blind or dumb.

However, he gathers together his tact and says, “Loki, I’ve been attracted to you from the moment you came through our office doors.  And it matters little to me whether you are male.  Or female.  Or otherwise…”

Loki cuts his eyes around at that last word, and Thor knows without a doubt that he just gave himself away.  But he’d wanted Loki to know that it was okay.  That he’s safe, that Thor cares for him and wants him to enjoy himself tonight, and…

“You could never be a disappointment,” Thor repeats.

“How touching,” Loki answers, though it’s sarcastic. 

Thor sighs as he watches Loki stand, watches the man take his plate and cup and throw them in the trash.  _I tried_ , he thinks.  _No regrets.  I tried._

But then Loki is standing in front of him again, hip cocked out and eyebrow raised.  “Well?” he asks.  “Are you taking me somewhere or not?”

And Thor’s sure he’s never stood up so fast in his life.  “Yeah… yeah.”

“Alright, then,” Loki says, smirking.  Then, “You sure you want to be seen leaving with me?”

“Fuck them,” Thor says.

And Loki’s laugh at that is _everything_.

~*~

Thor takes Loki back to his home, ushering him through the front door with a hand on the small of his back, and then offers him something to drink.

“You’ve already got me here, you don’t need to booze me up any more,” Loki says, which makes Thor frown.  He hadn’t meant more alcohol—unless that’s what Loki wanted.  But rather some water, some soda…  Loki adds, “Let’s get to it.  We’re here for a reason.”

And Thor almost opens his mouth to argue with that.  They can sit down for a little while, relax, turn on some music; it’s still early in the night, there’s no rush.  Thor wants to enjoy Loki’s company tonight, especially since Loki will soon walk out of his life.  He didn’t bring Loki here for a quick, easy lay—though it’s become apparent that’s what Loki thinks. 

But before Thor can say anything, Loki turns into him and leans his body against Thor’s front.  He finds Thor’s lips in a rough, heated kiss that sends Thor’s heart thudding hard in his chest, and Thor splays his hands across Loki’s back, dragging him even closer. 

It feels frantic to Thor immediately, strangely out of control, as though the feelings he’s been harboring for the past month have suddenly boiled over and exploded. 

Loki’s easy to pick up, light in his arms when Thor loops his hands under his ass and hefts him up.  Loki instinctively wraps his thighs around Thor’s waist, arms around his neck and fingernails digging into his scalp.  Thor stumbles toward the bedroom with Loki clinging to him, shoulders open the door and deposits Loki on the bed.  Watches with a hungry smile as Loki scoots back in the bed and pulls his sweater off.

Loki’s softer now than he was in the photos; not that he was burly then.  But the lean muscle of his early youth has given way to age, to stress, to less time for exercise.  Probably a hormone imbalance, too, Thor realizes.  And the lustful frenzy that had taken Thor fades into something gentler, more tender at the sight of his sweet, petite frame. 

Thor tugs off his jacket and shirt, then slowly makes his way onto the bed.  He hovers over Loki on his hands and knees, and lets Loki kiss and nip at his lips when the other man reaches for him.  But then he leans away to murmur, “You are _so_ gorgeous.”

Loki laughs, and then drags blunt nails down Thor’s back. 

And so Thor settles down next to him, against him, Loki’s face cradled in his hands in order to keep the kisses easy and relaxed.  To keep the other man gentle.  Loki seems to want to fight with his lips and tongue and teeth, but Thor has no use for that, doesn’t want to do that to Loki right now.  Maybe some other time they can be rough and frenzied—if there _is_ some other time—but right now…?

Thor just wants to love on him.

Loki quiets eventually, letting Thor press kisses to his jaw and throat, letting Thor caress his chest and sides.  Thor feels fingers at his belt, Loki undoing the buckle and then working at the flies, and so Thor lets his own hands wander further down. 

Loki immediately abandons Thor’s flies and grabs for Thor’s hands instead.  Thor pulls away from where he’s sucking kisses into Loki’s collarbone, finds Loki watching him with wide eyes.  The grip Loki has on him is like a vice, yet the man is also noticeably shaking, panicked.  Thor takes a deep breath before leaning back in to kiss Loki’s cheek.

“It’s alright,” Thor murmurs.  “Let me touch you.  I want to make you feel good.”

Loki sighs, the noise somehow both exasperated and resigned, before releasing Thor’s hands.

And so Thor slowly unclasps Loki’s belt, then unbuttons and unzips his flies.  He pushes the flaps aside and cups a hand over the front of Loki’s briefs, and he thinks he can feel Loki there under the tips of his fingers, his little prick swollen with arousal.

Loki makes a soft whining noise as Thor rubs him through his underwear, one hand finding Thor’s wrist and holding on.  Thor moans to him encouragingly, lips busy against his jaw, before murmuring, “Is that good, you like that?  You want more?”

Loki chokes on a breath, and says, “Don’t act like—I know you can tell.  Don’t act like nothing’s wrong.”

But as far as Thor’s concerned, nothing’s wrong.  Nothing at all.  He moves his hand only enough to slip it underneath the waistband of Loki’s briefs, to be able to feel the heat of his flesh.  He rubs his fingertips across the head of his cock, the skin all soft and velvety smooth, before exploring further, feeling delicate damp folds.  

“You’re not fucking a pussy tonight, if that’s what you’re thinking,” Loki suddenly barks, his legs snapping together and trapping Thor’s hand. 

“I wasn’t thinking anything.  Only how gorgeous you are,” Thor tells him, quiet and true.  He isn’t able to move much with the way Loki is squeezing his thighs together, but he’s able to press the heel of his hand against Loki’s erection.  He can feel Loki rocking back into him, so he adds, “Let me suck you off.  Or eat you out.  Whatever you want.”

“Thor…” Loki groans, agitated.  Though he isn’t pushing Thor away, and he’s still hard under Thor’s hand. 

“I want you.  So bad,” Thor says, kissed against the skin of Loki’s neck.  “If you’ve changed your mind, I’ll stop.  I’ll take you home, or back to the party…  But God, I want you.  Let me make you feel good.  Please.”

“Thor,” Loki murmurs again.  And for a moment Thor thinks it’s continued rejection, until Loki relaxes his thighs and begins to kick out of his shoes.  Thor takes Loki’s chin in his free hand and tilts his head, captures his lips in a long and lingering kiss. 

“That’s it,” Thor praises, repositioning himself to sit between Loki’s spread thighs.  He tucks his fingers in Loki’s pants and briefs then pulls them down his hips, and Loki wiggles and kicks them the rest of the way off. 

And Thor goes slow, both for his own benefit as well as Loki’s.  He sucks kisses into the inside of Loki’s thighs while he gently explores with his fingers, familiarizing himself with Loki’s body.  Loki’s mostly quiet save for a few pleased sighs while Thor strokes his cock, plays between his legs, and circles a finger around his asshole. 

Though when Thor slips two fingers into his cunny, he gets a gasp and an uncomfortable squirm.  And shit, he knows why—the squeeze around his fingers is so tight it’s almost painful.  He quickly withdraws, pressing a few quick kisses to Loki’s thigh, and murmurs, “Sorry, sorry…”

“S’not…  S’okay,” Loki murmurs, breathless.  He pauses as Thor goes back to his cock, jacking him with his thumb and forefingers.  “It’s not an actual pussy.  I know what it looks like, but it’s not—that’s what I meant when I said…  Not that you couldn’t fuck me, you can fuck me, just, there’s not room there for a cock…”

And Thor wants to tell him to shut up.  He owes him no explanation about where or why he can or can’t fuck him.  But Thor’s so turned on, and Loki’s pretty little cock is just begging to be sucked, and Thor’s pretty sure that might shut Loki up.

Loki curses when Thor takes him in his mouth.  He fits there so easy, all hot and smooth against Thor’s tongue, bitter and musky.  Thor moans around him at the sensation, and Loki returns the sound, sweet and full of pleasure.  Thor strokes his fingers between Loki’s legs, plays with his folds and fondles his sac.

And he can’t help but smile around his mouthful of dick when he feels Loki’s nails scrape across his scalp, his palm resting at the back of his neck.  Not pressing him down, just caressing. 

“Oh, fuck, that feels amazing,” Loki murmurs, while Thor laves his tongue around his cockhead.  Then, with a breathless laugh, “Shit, I’m already close.”

And something suddenly occurs to Thor.  He pulls off, licking his lips as he goes, and smiles at Loki’s indignant little whine.  He runs his hands soothingly across Loki’s hips, and asks, “Do you ejaculate when you come, sweetheart?”

Loki lets out another breathless laugh, lightly squeezing the back of Thor’s neck, and Thor thinks about how easy this is.  Being with each other.  Especially for a first time (or an only time).  Loki sighs, pets the back of Thor neck, and answers, “Yes, a little.  But not from the tip…”

“Yeah, I can see where,” he murmurs.  He dips his head back down to kiss Loki’s slit, not at the tip of his cock but rather underneath at the base.  Loki shivers and spreads his legs wider.

Loki doesn’t warn him when he’s about to come, not with words at least.  But he arches up from the bed and lets out the prettiest moan, and his little cock throbs hard in Thor’s mouth.  Thor knows before he feels Loki spill sticky and warm against his bottom lip and down his chin, and Thor echoes Loki’s moan, stroking his hands down Loki’s quivering thighs.

Thor pulls off to lick his lips, to wipe the cum off his chin and then lick it from his fingers.  It’s not an unpleasant taste, a bit bittersweet, granted Loki had just been drinking sweet wine and eating chocolate.  Thor finds himself grinning, thinks about thanking Loki for being so considerate.

“What are you smirking about?” Loki asks.  When Thor looks up, he finds Loki relaxed back into the pillows, a lazy smile on his face, basking in the afterglow.  And Thor can’t help himself—he buries his face back between Loki’s legs and flicks his tongue against the head of Loki’s cock, gentle and teasing.  Loki gasps and squirms, before he pushes Thor’s head away with a laugh, “Stop, you clown.”

So Thor crawls up the bed, settling in next to Loki, and captures his lips in a long, wet kiss.  And Thor almost wants to ask if he’s dreaming, because this is all he’s been wanting since he’s met this man.  Feeling Loki’s lips against his, having Loki naked in his bed, seeing Loki all sweet and sated after…

“Can I return the favor?” Loki asks, soft and seductive against his lips.  Thor feels Loki’s fingers trail playfully down the front of his trousers, before Loki cups his arousal in his hand.  Thor ruts against him with a grunt.

“Please,” he answers, and Loki presses a parting kiss to his lips before settling in by his hips and opening his flies.

Loki’s ponytail is mussed up, numerous tendrils falling out of the elastic, so Thor holds his hair out of his face while his goes down.  And God, he looks lovely, looks _sinful_ ; his thin lips stretched wide around Thor’s girth, drool and precum slipping from his mouth down Thor’s length, his pale cheeks pink with arousal. 

Granted, it’s not the most skilled blowjob Thor’s ever had.  Loki has to pull off fairly often to catch his breath, and takes over with his hand in the meantime.  And he has a hard time taking all of Thor’s cock, choking and gagging when he tries to swallow around him.   

Still, it is hands down the _best_ blowjob Thor’s ever had, which he tries not to think too hard about afterward as Loki curls up beside him under the covers.

Because he knows why it felt so good.  So _right_.  Why this whole night has been so amazing and comfortable and perfect.  And if he thinks too much about it then gets up in the morning to an empty bed, well… 

He may not survive it.

~*~

Thor wakes up to a warm body beside him in the bed, a knobbly spine pressed against his own back.  He lies still for a moment, feeling the slow movements behind him, Loki’s ribcage expanding and deflating as he breathes.  Thor can hear him snoring, the sound quiet and snuffly.

Shit, he’s got it so bad.  The man’s snoring is making him smile. 

He rolls over to spoon up behind Loki, throwing an arm over Loki’s waist and pressing his nose to the back of Loki’s neck.  Loki’s been up at some point in time during the night—he’s put his briefs back on, and he smells like Thor’s soap.  Thor must have slept through him showering.

God, he slept so well.  So deeply.  Just held Loki against him, his body relaxed in the afterglow, and drifted off…

And now Loki’s still here, the morning sun drifting in through the bedroom window.

Thor presses lazy kisses against Loki’s shoulder and neck, fingers trailing along his chest, until he feels Loki begin to stir in his arms.  When Loki leans back into him, peering over his shoulder, Thor murmurs, “Good morning.”

“Mmm, morning,” Loki answers, drowsy. 

 _I’m so glad you stayed_ , Thor thinks.  What he says is, “Eggs, toast, and coffee?”

“Yes, I’m hungry,” Loki answers, closing his eyes again.  He stretches languidly as Thor gets out of the bed, rolling over onto his other side and settling back in.  Thor smiles at the sight before letting himself into his bathroom.

He takes a quick piss, then washes his hands and splashes some water on his face.  Loki’s still lounging in the bed when Thor returns to pull on a pair of sweats, and so Thor leaves him there and goes to the kitchen. 

The coffee’s made, the eggs scrambled, and the bread in the toaster when Loki finally comes meandering out.  He’s found one of Thor’s t-shirts to throw on, and it dwarfs his small frame, making something heady and possessive coil in Thor’s stomach when he sees. 

“Mmm, smells good,” Loki says, sliding onto one of the kitchen bar stools. 

Thor smiles.  “I hope you like your eggs scrambled.  That’s all I know.”

Loki laughs, and answers, “Yes, I do.”

And so Thor makes Loki a plate and gets him a cup of coffee, offers him milk and sugar which Loki shakes his head at.  He’s piling eggs onto his own plate when he hears the voice from behind him, quiet and low…

“Thank you.”

“Oh, it’s my pleasure,” Thor tells him.  “I hope it’s good.  I’m not exactly a chef, this is about as fancy as it…”

“No, I mean, _thank_ you,” Loki interrupts.  “For last night.”

When Thor turns back to look, Loki’s staring down at his food, eyes watery.  “Loki…” he murmurs.

“You have no idea how badly I needed that,” Loki says, before meeting Thor’s gaze.  He looks so vulnerable.  “Can I be honest with you?”

“Of course,” Thor says, smiling encouragingly as he takes his plate and coffee and settles into the stool next to Loki.

“I talk a big game.  I say this is the way I am, and I’m proud of my body, and I’m happy, but…”  He lets out a long, sad sigh.  “It’s not easy.  It’s never been easy.  In fact, it’s shit.”

Thor thinks about apologizing, but then Loki hadn’t liked his apology before.  Had called it pity.  So he just says, “I don’t think anything’s ever easy.”

Loki hiccups out a laugh and says, “Yes, that sums it up.”  He pauses to take a sip of his coffee, and then hums appreciatively.  Eventually, he continues, “My ma left my father because of me.  Because they disagreed over what to do when I was born intersex, how to raise me.  I mean, how many kids can _actually_ say they caused their parents’ divorce?”

And Thor has no words of comfort for that, so he just splays his hand across Loki’s back, rubs between his shoulderblades. 

“I don’t know why I’m telling you this,” Loki says, and laughs again.

“You asked if you could be honest.  I said yes,” Thor tells him.  Then, “And I like when you talk to me.  I want to know you.”

Loki gives Thor a long, pondering look from over his cup of coffee.  “You know something?” he asks.  “Last night was the first time I’d had sex in…”  He trails off, biting his lip, brows furrowed.

“It must have been a doozie of a dry spell, if you need to think about it,” Thor comments.

Loki chuckles.  “Over five years?  I think?  Probably longer in actuality.  I just got so tired of the same shit over and over again.  It’s either _I thought you were a man_ or _I thought you were a woman_.  Or _I saw your photos._ Or _I have a weird fetish and want to shove a pear up your vag_ —which, I mean, to each their own, but I don’t do fruit before the third date…  I’m classy like that.”

Thor laughs loudly.  “Very classy,” he agrees.  Then, with a fast-beating heart, Thor asks, “So it was over five years, but you came home with me?”

“What can I say.  I’m a sucker for broad shoulders and blue eyes,” Loki replies.  Then, before Thor can reply, “Now, will you be honest with me?”

“Yes, of course,” Thor says, smiling wide.  “What would you like to know?”

“Had you seen the nude photos of me before I was hired?” Loki asks, smirking.  “Or did you look for them after you’d heard about them?”

And God, Thor’s glad his mouth isn’t full, else he’d be choking and spitting everywhere.  “Loki, I…” he begins, unsure what he’s going to say to dig himself out of this.  But Loki rolls his eyes, holding up a hand.

“Don’t start that, I’m not angry.  I know I should be, but I’m not.  It was easier, you already knowing—and don’t try to deny that, because you _knew_ ,” he says, then laughs lightly.  “My pants came off and you didn’t even blink.”

“I—yeah,” Thor agrees, feeling himself blushing.  “Yeah, I knew.”

“When?” Loki presses.  “Before I was hired, or after?”

“After.  After that incident in the bathroom,” Thor admits.  Loki nods, looking away and taking a sip of his coffee, and so Thor continues, “Loki, I’m so sorry, I had no right to do that.  There’s no real excuse, I just—you were leaving the company, and I was curious, and I was so hot for you.  _Am_ so hot for you.”

Thor watches a pretty blush color Loki’s cheeks as the man finally begins to nibble at his breakfast.  Nervous stomach this morning, Thor figures, if their conversation has been anything to go by. 

“Were you disappointed?” Loki asks eventually, tone deceptively neutral.

“Did I seem disappointed last night?” Thor counters.

“I suppose not,” Loki says with a toothy grin, and Thor can’t help but to lean in and kiss his cheek.

“I’d like to get to know you better,” Thor murmurs, hand lingering at Loki’s lower back.  “I know you’re leaving the company, so I understand if you’d rather just—leave everything.  But…”

“Just because I’m leaving the company doesn’t mean I have to leave _you_ ,” he answers, turning his head so that their lips can meet in a quick, chaste kiss.  “Do you have plans tomorrow night?”

“I do not,” Thor says.

“Then take me to dinner?”  His smile is so sweet and hopeful, Thor thinks he might melt.

“We’ll call it a date,” Thor tells him, and leans back in for another kiss.

~*~

Two years later, and Thor tells the story at their wedding reception.

Or at least, he tells a vastly censored version of the story while Loki stares up at him in a mix of horror and fury.

His expression slowly softens throughout the story, though, as Thor describes the incidence at work only as ‘harassment’ and as he leaves out any mention of inappropriate photos or intersexuality.  As he calls Loki strong and brave for enduring such a hostile work environment.  And as he tells about finding Loki at the company Christmas party, then playfully alludes to taking him home and to bed. 

“And then when he actually _liked_ my cooking for breakfast, I knew he was the one.”  Thor finishes his story to the laughter of their guests, though the only reaction he really cares about is sitting next to him. 

He looks down to find Loki smiling up at him.  It’s one of his dazzling smiles, all teeth and shining green eyes, and Thor’s heart hurts, the man is so beautiful.

“I love you,” Thor tells him, while champagne glasses begin clinking around them.  Loki laughs at the noise, already reaching up for the requisite kiss. 

The answered words gets pressed against Thor’s lips.  “I love you, too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thor crushes hard on his employee, Loki. Loki has had professional photos taken of him in the nude, which can be seen online. Gossip travels around the office that is unkind and bigoted. Thor eventually looks at these photos and discovers that Loki is intersex. He continues to crush hard, and sex ensues.
> 
> This is colored from Thor's POV, so some ignorance and confusion *is* intended.
> 
> My knowledge on intersexuality is based on my own experience working in the medical field, as well as research done for this fic. Any discrepancies or errors are mine alone.


End file.
